Long time listeners and readers know that I hate this concept of getting out of our comfort zones. I think we’ve villainized the comfort zone in a way that makes us believe that if we’re not constantly getting out of our comfort zone that we’re living life scared.
I think that’s complete and utter nonsense, so let me be frank: there’s nothing wrong with being in your comfort zone.
We spend a lot of our time trying to find comfort in our lives. We seek out comfort in our homes, comfort in our bodies, comfort in our clothes, and comfort in our relationships. So why are we always being told to get out of our comfort zones?
I’ve got a better idea: forget about getting outside your comfort zone, and instead, become aware of when you hit your complacent zone.
And when that happens, rather than jumping outside of your comfort zone, stretch your comfort zone like pizza dough.
You see, when you stretch pizza dough, you don’t pull it from the outside–rather, you push it out from the inside. And when you see areas getting thin, you add more dough and more flour to those spots.
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Make sense? Good! Because now we’re going to make this more applicable to your life by introducing something called the Transtheoretical Theory.
The Transtheoretical Model (TTM) of behavior change, often referred to as the stages of change model, is a psychological framework developed by James Prochaska and Carlo DiClemente. It offers a structured approach to understanding and facilitating change in individuals across various domains, including health behaviors, addiction, and personal development. The model identifies five distinct stages that individuals may progress through when making changes: precontemplation, contemplation, preparation, action, and maintenance.
These stages represent different levels of readiness and commitment to change, with individuals moving through them in a cyclical and non-linear fashion. The TTM emphasizes the importance of tailoring interventions to match an individual’s stage of change, recognizing that different strategies may be most effective at each stage. By understanding where individuals are in the change process, practitioners can provide targeted support and encouragement to facilitate successful behavior change.
So with that out of the way, let’s use Transtheoretical Theory to stretch the pizza dough of our comfort zones in other aspects of our lives…
1. Precontemplation: I’ve been wanting to learn Latin dance for a while. I took a group salsa lesson in Puerto Vallarta in February, 2022, and I took a group bachata with members of the SeoulShare community in October, 2022. I had so much fun at these, but then life started lifin’ and I just lost interest in it. But I was reminded of how fun it is to watch Latin dancers when I was in Hanoi because every morning the old women meet up at Hoan Kiem and do Latin dance as a group (except without partners). Not only that, but on Sunday evenings, people set up a speaker system in the street and whoever wants to salsa or bachata steps into the circle and gyrates their hips and shuffles their feet with a willing partner. It’s so much fun to watch, and I found myself moving my torso in a super awkward way.
Oh, and I was smiling ear to ear because it was so much fun to watch, and it reminded me of how much fun those two random lessons were.
Truth be told…I’m not ready to swing my partner ‘round and ‘round juuuuuuust yet.
But it is in the back of my mind…
If this is where you are, here’s something you can do in order to subliminally move you closer to your next goal: Start by simply noticing moments when you feel a twinge of curiosity about trying something new. Allow yourself to sit with that feeling without judgment, and gently explore it with an open mind.
2. Contemplation: Contemplation means you’re planning to make a change within the next six months. If you find yourself contemplating the idea of change, here’s something you can do: Take a small step towards exploring your curiosity. It could be as simple as researching a new hobby or talking to someone who has experience in an area you’re interested in (that’s why I keep inviting you to schedule an Exploration Call with me!) By taking action, you’re already moving closer to the next phase.
3. Preparation: If you’re in the preparation phase, you’re plan is to start taking action within the next month. As you actively prepare yourself for change, set aside dedicated time each day to plan and visualize your next steps. This is how I started on my yoga journey. Before I left Chiang Mai for Hanoi, I could feel my body aching, and all the Thai massages in the world weren’t doing anything to make it feel any better. Not only that, but I wasn’t following through with the numerous fitness routines I’ve purchased over the years. I knew I was missing a coach and a community. That’s when I started researching yoga studios near my accommodations in Hanoi, and lo and behold, I found Om Hanoi. Interestingly enough, I had actually been there once before last year to have lunch with a friend in the cafe, and I remembered really liking that space, so I looked into how much a 10-class card would cost me, ran the numbers of my travel budget, and decided to commit to going to 10 classes. Create a roadmap of achievable goals that will help you transition from contemplation to action. By laying the groundwork, you’re setting yourself up for success.
4. Action: Now that you’re ready to take the leap, here’s something you can do: Start small and gradually increase the intensity of your efforts. Now that I’m back in Chiang Mai and feeling a bit looser, I’m not only doing yoga at Yoga Ananda (with seriously two of the best instructors I’ve ever had), but I’m back in the gym twice a week doing a basic hypertrophy workout that takes me under an hour to complete. There’s also a greenspace for me to do a ten-minute HIIT workout the other two days a week (if my body is feeling up to it…if it’s not, I get a Thai massage because they cost $15 for an hour massage. Yes please!) By taking on new challenges with confidence, you’ll see how each step you take brings you closer to your desired outcome. Remember, progress is made one step at a time.
5. Maintenance: Finally, as you work to maintain your progress, reflect on how far you’ve come and celebrate your achievements, no matter how small. For example, I track my workout weight and reps because with each workout, I’m incorporating overload principle, meaning I’m either adding weight, reps, time under tension, or I’m shortening my rest periods between sets. In doing so, I’m able to track my gains. Sure, hypertrophy training is a little easier to quantify than, say, your stress levels or your mindful awareness, but luckily for you, I have a self-assessment for both you can take! Stay vigilant and be prepared to adjust your strategies as needed to overcome obstacles and keep moving forward.
At the end of the day, it’s not about catapulting ourselves out of our comfort zones; rather, it’s about stretching them, gently pushing the boundaries of what we once thought possible.
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